Upset

     Yesterday, my eyes opened and so did my heart. Finding out some things that have been going on for 5 years just made me sick. How could someone so easily do something so immoral? I just don't understand the people in my family. The last thing that is said, "I'm sorry I fucked up your life. I know you hate me, but I don't even care." The last fucking thing, not even "I love you and I am so sorry." No he had to be a douche and do that. How could he do that? How can a person be so cruel? 

     Then my mom tries to tell me that I need to talk to him. I told her today that I had nothing to say to him and that I could care less if he was in my life or not. Yet, the truth is, I am just so hurt, I don't want him to leave. Maybe it will be for the best, maybe not? Maybe he will keep doing what he is doing. Until then, he'll just be a man walking around my house and eating me and my moms food, and watching our TV. No words, just sitting there like a week old vegetable; calm and nonchalant. 

     My heart and mind hurt and I can't stand it.

-Ashley